This is titled 20 Questions for a Fantastic Love-Life and somewhere along the way it was changed to improve your love life. But I like fantastic better because why just improve something instead of creating it to be fantastic?
So I am officially changing the name back to that. And thank you again for being here. Please feel free to ask questions.
Asking questions is the key to changing anything and the key to creating something new. Answers always limit us, even though we think we are supposed to look for answers and have all of the right answers. What if right now, we allow ourselves to go back to being the children we were before the classroom, when we were so full of curiosity that we naturally asked questions constantly?
Choosing to ask questions and staying engaged verbally is essential for a relationship to thrive. And when I talk about relationships or your love life, that does not have to be romantic relationships, but includes the relationship you have with yourself or anyone else. And if you are in a romantic relationship or desire to be in one, asking questions will create totally different connections and possibilities for the future.
The more we are willing to talk to each other honestly, and learn how to stay present and listen, the more we are continually gaining valuable information about ourselves and our “enjoyable” other. With every question, you are creating a space where you can choose toward the phenomenal future, life, & relationship that you both can perceive with enthusiasm.
Okay, so here we go with my 20 questions for a fantastic love-life, and these are mostly questions to ask yourself but some of them will also be valuable to ask your partner:
- Who does this belong to? This is the first question to begin asking yourself with every thought, feeling and emotion. How much of your life and relationships are filled with thoughts, feelings and emotions? And what if those thoughts, feelings and emotions are not actually yours? What if they are like bad songs on the radio, but since we hear them in our heads, we assume they belong to us? Asking who does this belong to, for every point of view, or thought, feeling and emotion, will begin to change your life dynamically. Even this one question alone could change everything that you have decided about your life, and change what shows up in your future!
- Am I willing to let go of everything my relationship was yesterday?
This is a question that I ask everyday and on days where I do not let go of everything my relationship was yesterday, I notice a different vibe with my husband that is not as fun as when I do ask it. And part of this question is acknowledging that we are actually choosing our relationships every day. Looking to build something based on a past that is literally no longer here cannot create something new and fantastic.
- How does it get any better than this? This is one of my absolute favorite questions and is totally magical. When we ask how does it get any better than this, regardless of what is going on, in the worst of times and in the best of times, we are inviting something better to show up, and it always does. It might look different than we expect it to but if we let go of our conclusions and expectations, and even our hopes and dreams, everything gets better and the universe always surprises us.
Never answer this question, and if you ask it to your partner, ask them if they can refrain from answering it.
- What else is possible? Or what else is possible that I have never considered? (talk about relationships specifically.
- If I wasn’t trying to get love right, what would I choose? *no is right or wrong anyway, people who get it right are miserable
- How much fun can I have today? * I ask my kids this every single day, *can we have? * good question to ask your partner too
- Truth?
- What choices do I have available to me that others don’t?
- What do I truly desire that I have never acknowledged?
- How many points of view do I have about love and relationships?
- If I were truly honoring me and holding myself in regard, what would I choose?
- Where am I grateful for this relationship?
- How does this person contribute to my happiness?
- Will I make more money if I stay in this relationship?
- Am I willing to be vulnerable with this person?
- Can I trust that they will choose for them and be ok with me choosing for me? *trying to prove we need and are needed
- Am I allowed to do whatever I desire without being made wrong?
- Am I allowing them to do whatever they desire without judging them?
- Do I trust myself to show up as more of me in this relationship? Or do I hide parts and pieces of me?
- If I choose it, will it create or decay the future I desire?
Bonus:
How much is this costing me? (money, energy, emotionally)
*go through again with the Access Clearing Statement
