Talking about love can bring up a lot of walls and barriers, so please acknowledge your vulnerability and that you have not given up yet? Acknowledging wherever you are and what you are looking for, is a crucial step on your adventure toward a fantastic lovelife.
How often do you acknowledge you? I know a few people who acknowledge their greatness sometimes but for the most part, I see many people who are brilliant and absolutely refuse to see themselves or people who are trying to prove how brilliant they are but still refuse to see themselves and are actually looking for positive judgment.
Acknowledging ourselves includes acknowledging what we desire for ourselves. What do you desire your life to be? What do you know you desire that you have never allowed yourself to acknowledge? If we hide our desires from ourselves and avoid even looking at them, how are they ever going to actualize?
Is it necessary to know what you desire your life to be like? Or does it work to go with the flow and hope it works out someday? Do you think you will be blessed with the life you love if you prove you are a good girl and go to church on Sundays? I have been wondering lately if a key to knowing who you are, is knowing what you desire to create or who you desire to create with. Once you know you really like someone, does your whole life suddenly feel more fun and joyful? Or have you ever had a job that was so fun, it made you happier in general?
And do you spend your day doing what you love? Or are you suffering for your passion or to save the world? If we avoid choosing to spend our hours playing like children with whatever we find most delightful in the moment, with no sense of urgency to get busy working hard and giving our energy and lives away in hopes of one day feeling safe and at peace in this insane world we live in, is it really safe and is that enough for you?
And that is another thing that can be very helpful to acknowledge, the way we see most people living, including those we learned from as children, is insane and actually creating a tremendous amount of destruction and more bullshit on the planet that is serving no one. We can acknowledge what is not working without judging it as right or wrong. Not having a planet to live on does not work if we desire to have a life. And there is a lot of insanity in relationships we can no longer afford to ignore.
The most amazing thing I have learned about acknowledgment is that it allows and ignites movement. Whatever you acknowledge, you either create more of that or you can let go of whatever is limiting you. It blows my mind but it is truly like having a superpower.
I had a major crush on a guy in high school and as soon as I admitted it to myself and knew I liked him, I befriended him and started hanging out every single day. He was suddenly acknowledged by me, and his life was different. If I had decided he would never like me or he’s not really my type, or I shouldn’t flirt with boys because everyone will judge me, I would have avoided him and missed out on learning a lot about love and a lot about boys.
What can you acknowledge about you and what if you began practicing acknowledgment every day? It’s something that sounds easy but I actually found it quite challenging and I see most people completely resist it. My idea was to take an acknowledgement shower, and I told myself I am not leaving this shower, even if the water turns ice cold, until I acknowledge the greatness of me. And it continues to change so much and invite so much more into my life and in my relationships.
I felt like a darn fool when I saw how much it affected my husband when I acknowledged my gratitude for him after 8 years of marriage. I thought it was obvious that I appreciated him and he was such a gift to my life but he basically melted. When you say it out loud, it is not only a gift to your lover or other, but to you as well because suddenly again, with the acknowledgement comes more of what you are admitting you are truly grateful for and what you know is true. (it has a very different outcome that saying I love you every day and ignoring each other).
Do you know what you are looking for in love? And what does love mean to you? How many definitions are there of love? How much judgment have we added to that word? And are you looking for love or looking to be loved? Just for now, what if we let go of all of our definitions of love that we have ever tried to prove as real and true for ourselves? You can choose them again later if you like but for now, what if you could begin to discover what love is for you?
Asking this question will also be great practice for discovering what love is for the guys or girls you are considering being in a relationship with, what does love mean to them? And even if it took me ten years to acknowledge my husband, discovering what he requires to know he is being loved is something I will continue to discover for the next ten years.
What if we stopped making time significant? How many reference points to the past do you have keeping you turned away from looking at right now and into the future? Fixating over whatever happened and making yourself wrong or wishing it had turned out differently is a total waste of time. Anything that you have decided is wrong or right is keeping you from choosing greater. And how much pleasure and possibility are you avoiding when you make the past significant?
This is another chance to acknowledge what you learned from your past relationships, what you valued, what didn’t work for you, and then choose what’s next, letting the rest of it go. If you are trying to understand why you broke up, you will never be satisfied with whatever answers you invent to justify your conclusions. All of our theories, judgements, conclusions, agendas and fantasies are you committed to? Or what story are you telling yourself about the past that is irrelevant to what you actually desire your future to be?
When you catch yourself looking to those past reference points of your relationships, you can ask, “am I ready to let this go now?” And it’s okay if you are not ready, just try not to make yourself wrong. And you can then ask yourself, “I wonder when I will be ready to choose something else?”
If you are stuck in any fantasies or dreams of recreating a relationship that was romantic or fun, you are also limiting what or could show up next. If you had no projections or expectations of what a great lovelife would look like, even if you are in a relationship now, what would show up tomorrow?
A life changing question I learned from the tools of Access Consciousness, is who does this belong to? This is as magical as acknowledgement because just asking the question gives you the awareness of what belongs to you and how many points of view you are just picking up on because we are aware of other people’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. And where do you learn the most about relationships? Our parents, family, friends, television, and in most of the songs we listen to, we are bombarded with points of views and opinions, and expected, even by the people we love the most, to defend each other’s judgments and take them on as our own.
Do you try to prove that your parents are right to make them happy? Does it work? What would happen if you never had to defend anyone or align and agree with them to make it more comfortable? This is where even friendships can get pretty tricky. I was totally committed to never letting my friends down and always positively judge each other. What is the worst thing you can imagine if you never aligned and agreed with people regardless of what they say?
