How much money are you willing to ask for? We are not talking about your paycheck, or enough to pay your bills and go on a two week vacation with no debt. What amount of money are you willing to have in your bank account? How much wealth, prosperity and opulence are you willing to have? Why wouldn’t you just be wealthy for fun?
Well, the first reason is that you don’t think it’s possible. The second reason is you don’t want to be judged. If you don’t think something is possible, it’s not! If you ask what else is possible? Your point of view is to ask for something different. Do you know that your point of view is what creates your life? If you look at money as a problem, you have money problems. If you look for what is wrong with your husband, he will always be wrong and do more of the things you are judging him for, just to prove you right! Isn’t that sweet?
What if your point of view was that your husband was interesting? What if you thought money showed up with ease? Or are you too consumed with other people’s judgements, projections, expectations and agendas about money and relationships? About your body and sex? Pleasure? Where did you learn your points of views on love? On money? On money in relationships? Do you see yourself choosing what your parents chose? Or the complete opposite?
Are you choosing out of desperation to fit in, and not be judged as wrong? If only judgment served some sort of purpose, but they are the most destructive force on the planet. The only thing judgment can actually create for you is money, if you are willing to receive judgment with no reaction. Again, think of all of the judgment Kim Kardashian receives. Does it stop her from being famous? From having an empire worth over $1 billion dollars. In fact, being able to receive all of the judgment without making herself right or wrong may have something to do with her success.
Are you willing to be judged for having too much money? Guess what, everyone is going to judge you anyway! Poor and rich alike do not escape incessant judgment. It’s not something you can avoid. It also has nothing to do with you in the first place. Don’t worry about it and take it as a sign that you are getting stronger and richer the more people judge you.
Are you willing to be judged for having too much ease with money? We are taught that money is a struggle and requires hard work. How confronting is it to see someone have total ease spending lots of money? Are you tempted to make them wrong? A lot of people with money try to keep it a secret so they don’t offend anyone. Or they give a lot of money away in shame of having or being too much when there are so many sad people with so little money.
You cannot control what people think of you or how they feel about money. Don’t worry if they make you wrong or steal from you, if they make you their answer or their enemy. Unless you are in a relationship with someone, their points of view about money are irrelevant. When you are in a relationship, take a look at your partner’s financial choices. Now we all wish that love was about having loving feelings and choosing to commit to one person, what’s money gotta do with it?
I don’t know why, but I do know that money is simply one of the ingredients to a successful relationship. Like tequila in a margarita. It’s not the whole cocktail but a part of it. If you are going to have a successful relationship, you have to be willing to be successful financially. Your partner either has to have or make lots of money or you make a lot of money because you are with them. This could be that you make more money because your boyfriend rubs your feet every night and when you go to work you make more in tips because you feel better on your feet.
If your partner is not contributing to your wealth, or you are spending their money and not creating more for both of you, your relationship is doomed. So know how your partner spends and creates money, and include them in conversations about what you would like to create as your future together. This also should be fun! Do not worry about whatever they share, please do not tell them they need to stay positive. Let them say whatever they say and let them know you are listening to them. You do not need to jump to any conclusions, listen to what is not being said too. Is there anywhere you can see your partner is struggling to face their financial situation? Or nervous to talk to you about expenses? Take it as valuable information then keep choosing whatever works best for you.
Your partner does not have to agree with you or promise to make more money. If you are willing to keep creating toward the life you love and they have your back without holding you back, you are on your way to financial bliss. So another question you can ask yourself and your partner, are we done creating together? What would we like to create now and into the future?
Make sure to keep asking questions about the future, it usually will inspire your partner to choose more. Asking questions is great, trying to control is not. Often we take one thing our partner says, jump to conclusions, and decide it is our job to push them to success. I am here to fire you from that job.
As crazy as it sounds, we are not here to control each other. Nor are we here to be controlled by money.
We are all tempted to stay in control and many of us are lifelong control freaks. Control freaks get things done but can also get in the way. Sometimes more space is required instead of control. Sometimes you have to relax for money to show up. Would you be willing to have ease with money? Ask for it!
Having ease with money is a way of honoring yourself. Honor is one of the five elements of intimacy. Do you know that you can have intimacy with money? I wonder how that would add to the intimacy you have with your partner? With yourself? Honor is holding you in regard, and holding your partner in regard. What would it be like to financially honor you?
The other elements of intimacy are gratitude, allowance, vulnerability and trust.
Another way to honor yourself and your relationship, even if you keep your money separate, is to begin a 10% honor you fund. It can be a savings account or a shoe box under your bed, but the moment you begin your ten percent account you are inviting more to show up. When you let this account build by adding 10% of every dollar that comes into your life, and never spend a single dollar of it, you will always have more money in your life.
Would you be willing to have so much money that you changed other people’s lives? What if that was the purpose of money? To change other people’s worlds and create your life? Money follows joy. What can you add to your life to make it more joyful? How will money know where to find you? Turn up your joy, however that looks for you. Don’t forget to include having fun in your relationship and see what that contributes to your money flows.
What if money was a welcome third wheel in your love-life? What if money was one of your lovers? Let her know you are ready to play and that if she comes over she will have so much fun. What if you introduced money to your other best friend, your body! Guess what, money isn’t for you anyway, money is for your body! Money is for your body! Money is for your body! Take her on a date. What can she show you?
You can also ask your body to gift you everything she knows about money! Remember that just like your body, just like your relationship, your money flows need to move to thrive. Spending money can generate more. Savings can too. Be willing to let the money show you where it would like to be. Never judge yourself for spending money. Always know that you can choose again.
Pull money towards you like you would your enjoyable other when you are lusting after their body. Dress to be judged. Break up with financial stress and anxiety. Ask for more ease with money. Be grateful for every penny and with every penny ask how does it get any better than this?
